Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Adderall That and a Bag of Chips

My brain is running around like an Adderall-snorting hamster in its enclosure tonight, but I'm still going to attempt to write a coherent-ish blog post, because I have been lazy and it has been three days since I last posted anything. I'd really like to make writing a daily thing, and I've heard that once you do something for 21 straight days, your brain considers it a habit, and it becomes easier to accomplish. This theory can be tested on all kinds of things, I'm sure. Like kissing someone, for instance. (Chiwetel Ejiofor- call me.)

Sooooooooo...where to start? I've had a fabulous couple of days. Yesterday, I got to go shopping for clothes for my new job. Fear not, my little monkeys of doom, I haven't left the bookstore - that will only happen if I were to expire or there is a restraining order involved. No, I took a second job so the fur shark could continue living the lifestyle to which she's accustomed. (Although, I refuse to buy her Silly Bandz. She's not a kitten anymore - she can live without mouse-shaped rubber bracelets. I don't care if all the other house cats have them.)

I hate shopping as a rule, especially for clothes, because the glamorous package that is me comes complete with serious body image issues. (I know - hating your body is so 1990s.) Regardless, I would rather pound nails into my skull* than try on clothing. I don't need fluorescent lighting and a large mirror to make myself cry - I can manage that just fine at home.** However, perhaps coasting on the excitement of starting my new job, or the fact that I was due to attend "Scott Pilgrim" in an hour, I gleefully snatched up armfuls of respectable-looking attire, and managed to walk away with several outfits, including a shiny little black-sequined number that isn't really work-appropriate, but I just HAD to have. (It was marked down from $90 to $20, and more importantly, it makes a sound like a heavy rainfall when you shake your tuckus. SCORE!)

Still with me? Okay, well, now would be the time to get up and stretch, get a snack from the fridge or go pee, because I still have a lot more ranting and raving to do.

After my successful clothing hunt, I went to see "Scott Pilgrim." I will be the first to say that I was initially angry that they were making the comics into a movie. I am fiercely protective of the things I love, and am repeatedly disappointed that the general population is very often introduced to a book by way of a lousy movie, because they usually end up changing so much. That said- zOMG! I HEART THE SCOTT PILGRIM MOVIE! SQUEEEEEEEE!

It was a really, really fun film. It was yummy to look at, the action was awesome, it (mostly) followed the comics and it was extremely funny. ("We are SexBob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!") The only complaint I had was with Jason Schwartzman as the uber-charismatic Gideon. Now, I think "Hotel Chevalier", Schwartzman's short film with Natalie Portman, is one of the sexiest things ever recorded, and his brief sex scene in "The Darjeeling Limited" is crazy-hot. (I nearly fainted just now, thinking about him on the train, licking his hand.) But somehow, in "Scott Pilgrim", he failed to sell me on Gideon being utterly irresistible to the opposite sex. Still, it didn't detract from my viewing pleasure - I was teh happy! Looking forward to watching it again soon.

Okay, okay, I'm going to wrap this up, even though I'm super-awake and could go on for another 2,000 words. Maybe tomorrow, I'll tell you about today. And, maybe that will cause a rip in the space-time continuum! MWUAHAHAHAHA!

To give you an idea of how ADD I am this evening - while writing this post, I also:
- ate my weight in BBQ chips
- read 43 pages of a book
- tweeted 19 times
- answered 17 emails
- hulahooped
- perused the World of Warcraft boards on the Blizzard site (I have a level 42 paladin. I named her Sarah Paladin - I'm that cool)
- sang along with "Silent Sigh" by Badly Drawn Boy six times
- composed a list of recent favorite reads for @smartbitches
- got involved in a land war in Asia

I will leave you with a personal Learn From My Fail: no matter how long a bottle of Diet Sprite has been sitting, always open it carefully. Whether it's the chemicals it's made from, or because your town is on a Hellmouth, if you attempt to just normally open the bottle, the contents will spew out all over the front of your shirt with a violence usually only seen in erupting volcanoes and you will be left smelling like you just breastfed faeries.

And on that note, good night.

*Holla, @byseanferrell!

**This is what unreasonable self-loathing will get you: I am so unhappy with my figure, I don't even shower with the lights on, and last night, I managed to put apple-scented hand lotion in my hair instead of conditioner. Learn from my fail, ladies: subscribe to the belief that popular culture dictates how you should look, and you'll end up walking around with greasy hair that is scented like a Blow-Pop.


  1. OMG...this is might be my favorite blogger...haha...TOO FUNNY...

  2. Must go watch The Princess Bride now.

  3. Exactly what I like to read: Honest writing. And pretty funny at that.

    On a side note: is that said exploded diet sprite on your blog background? Or a happy accident? Either way, point about old Sprite taken. ;)

  4. YAY for Sarah Paladin! I'm a girl that plays WoW too. ;-)

    I just stumbled across ur blog - thanks! Fun stuff here.

  5. Keep writing, bibliophile! Love the twitter photos, very cool.

  6. I found this while searching for Adderall, and I absolutely adore it! Keep them coming ^-^