Wednesday, August 14, 2013
*Loud crash in the kitchen*
ME: *waking up* What the hell was that?!
CATS: Come and see!
ME: *goes in kitchen* You idiots knocked over my hoop.
CATS: No, we have slayed the Giant Circle of Doom!
ME: Whatevs, psychos.
CATS: We saved your life! It was plotting to suck out your brains with its black hole.
ME: The fuck it was.
CATS: Give us treats!
ME: It's 4:30 in the morning.
CATS: PRAISE US, ASSHOLE!
ME: I'm going back to bed. *picks up hoop*
CATS: OH EM GEE DON'T TOUCH IT. YOU'RE DOOMED.
ME: Try and behave now.
Friday, July 5, 2013
CATS: It's so hot in here! Fix it, mortal!
ME: It's cooler in the other room. You know, the one with the air conditioner?
CATS: But we want to be in this room!
ME: Then you're going to be hot.
CATS: Fix it! Fixitfixitfixit!
ME: Well, I'm sorry, but the air conditioner only fits in the window in the other room.
CATS: YOU INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE! REVEAL TO US YOUR FAVORITE THING SO THAT WE MAY THROW UP ON IT WHILE YOU SLEEP!
Friday, May 10, 2013
“I read because one life isn't enough, and in the page of a book I can be anybody;
I read because the words that build the story become mine, to build my life;
I read not for happy endings but for new beginnings; I'm just beginning myself, and I wouldn't mind a map;
I read because I have friends who don't, and young though they are, they're beginning to run out of material;
I read because every journey begins at the library, and it's time for me to start packing;
I read because one of these days I'm going to get out of this town, and I'm going to go everywhere and meet everybody, and I want to be ready.”
- from Anonymously Yours
Monday, April 1, 2013
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, “Is it good, friend?”
“It is bitter—bitter,” he answered;
“But I like it
“Because it is bitter,
“And because it is my heart.”
Saturday, March 16, 2013
The buzzard has nothing to fault himself with.
Scruples are alien to the black panther.
Piranhas do not doubt the rightness of their actions.
The rattlesnake approves of himself without reservations.
The self-critical jackal does not exist.
The locust, alligator, trichina, horsefly
live as they live and are glad of it.
The killer whale’s heart weighs one hundred kilos
but in other respects it is light.
There is nothing more animal-like
than a clear conscience
on the third planet of the Sun.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
all fall down,
all fall down and blow,
where are yr toes?
the branches break, the birds fall, the buildings burn,
the whores stand straight,
the bombs stack,
evening, morning, night,
rain breathing like lilies from the top of my head,
kisses like steel clamps
mouths full of moths,
Florida in full moon,
shark with mouthful of man
man with mouthful of peanutbutter, rain
rain peeking into the guts of grey hours,
horses dreaming of horses,
flowers dreaming of flowers,
horses running with greyhour pieces of my lovely flesh,
bread burning, all Spain on fire and
cities dreaming of craters,
bombs bigger than the brains of anything,
are the clocks cocks roosters?
the roosters stand on the fence
the roosters are peanutbutter crowing,
the FLAME will be high, the flame will be big,
kiss kiss kiss
I hope it rains today, I hope
the jets die, I hope
the kitten finds a mouse, I hope
I don't see it, I hope
it rains, I hope
anything away from here,
I hope a bridge, a fish, a cactus somewhere
strutting whiskers to the noon,
I dream flowers and horses
the branches break the birds fall the buildings
burn, my whore walks across the room and
smiles at me.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
"I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who make things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all and on the whole: some day I wish to be only a Yes-sayer."
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Sunday, November 11, 2012
"Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you’ve got to be kind."
Kurt Vonnegut, November 11. 1922 - April 11, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
i've always look for joy as a pretext to write
but could not or would not
fall face down upon the knot of pain which seems
to make even the simplest things
a complete and frightening mystery.
this way i have avoided being torn
by the terrific closeness with that heart-shaped weapon
which makes us die. i have left out
important fragments of my life. i've taken only
the juice out of the squalor. i have avoided
loving more than i could love.
- Andrei Codrescu
Sunday, September 23, 2012
death covers me with a fine dust.
i love fat used books. they are
like used fat bodies coming out of sleep
covered with fingerprints and shiny
i wish to read the way i love:
jumping from mirror to mirror like a drop of oil
father and farther from my death.
but god gives us fat books and fat bodies
to use for different reasons
and less a metaphor i cannot say
what haunts me
- Andrei Codrescu
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
I arrived in NYC on Monday, where I spent the afternoon in Word Brooklyn, buying books, because I don't own any. Or because I have an addiction to buying books. One of these things is true. Then Stephanie took me to lunch at Five Leaves, where they make dreams THAT YOU CAN EAT. These are the ricotta pancakes. I want to move to Greenpoint so I can eat them every day.
After lunch, we went shopping, where I discovered it is legal in New York to sell house cats in convenience stores.
Later, we met up with Josh and Jenn and Rebecca, where I posed with Stephanie and Rebs for the greatest redhead picture in the history of redheads.
After dinner, we attended the fantastic Bookrageous party at Housing Works Bookstore. I finally got to meet dozens of people from the internet that I had never met before - it was great! It turns out, I'm a hugger.
The next day, I headed out for my first day of Book Expo America. This is the lobby of the Javits Center, where BEA was held. Javits is ENORMOUS. You could fit all of immediate downtown Portsmouth inside. But you wouldn't want to, because then there would be no place for books.
Lots of vendors were nice enough to hand out tote bags. I filled two with books almost immediately. Quirk Books reps wandered the floor, and if they saw you with their bag, they took your photo to hang in their booth, and gave you a prize. (Notice I am not holding up my bag - it's because I wouldn't set down the cookie Emma Straub gave me.)
This is my new favorite title.
One of the best things about BEA was getting to meet all my Book Riot cohorts! It was an amazing evening. They are all really awesome. We went to dinner at The Half King, where I fell a little in love with the cute tatted waitress who called me Momma. Rachel ordered the fried baby spaghetti monsters.
I stayed with Stephanie most of the week. This was my roommate, Dmitri. He didn't snore, but he did talk a lot. And drool on my pillow.
The next day, I hauled ass to the Javits to make sure I got a place in line for this:
Yes, this happened. Neil Young sat down with Patti Smith and had a conversation about music and writing and it was one of the most amazing things I've ever experienced. They were brilliant and funny. I cried a little. What? Shut up.
I got to spend another dinner with Book Riot cohorts. We sat outside, where the trees dropped annoying little flowers on our meals and in our hair the whole time. I had to pick Rebs clean like a monkey. She and I write the Well-Readheads column together. Here we are enjoying beverages:
BEA is like summer camp for book people! I got to see so many of my friends. I went to Andrew Shaffer's signing for his new book, "Fifty Shames of Earl Grey." I'm pretty sure the hand sign we're making in this picture means "We miss you, Jerry."
I also saw this book, and I was disappointed that they didn't have any ARCs to give away, because I have a friend who I think would really like it:
Really. It would have been for a friend.
I spent the last day of BEA like all the other days - filling my arms up with books, and visiting with friends. And I had a meeting next to the Brooklyn Bridge. THAT was impressive. And there was ice cream! All meetings should include ice cream.
On my last day there, I insisted on revisiting the ricotta pancakes before I left. Seriously. I can't get over them.
Thank you to everyone who helped this country mouse find her way around the big city. I had the best time this year! Especially since last year, my front tooth got knocked out. (It's a long story - let's just say there were ninja werewolves and I was outnumbered.)
Here's my haul from my trip. The bag of books I brought home weighed 42 lbs.
And here are Millay and Steinbeck jumping for joy upon my return:
Despite the fantastic time I had in NYC, it's like what Dorothy (that witch-squishing, red-shoed, self-centered bitch) said: There's no place like home.